beanside: (Default)
[personal profile] beanside
It's the weekend! And I am still up at 5:30am because I am working this morning. I realized how good my check was going to look today. I've got two Saturdays of OT, a team meeting that was OT and the second friend who got a job at Hopkins passed her six month mark on this past Wednesday, so I'll get that $1000 bonus. We're going to get something good for dinner on payday.

Work was pretty busy yesterday, and I spent a bit of time working on filling appointments, yet still had time to take 47 calls. Usually Friday is a little bit less busy, but we're heading into the most wonderful time of the year, where everyone tries to get in for appointments they've known they needed for months before their deductible resets in January. Late November and December are brutal for radiology. And may I just mention that these people have no Holliday Cheer. For December, I'm working on the 27th, and not looking forward to it.

After work, I did a quick run to the pharmacy to get my pills, and inhalers. With a game at 7, we decided to take the dog out for a walk, but there was a bigger dog outside, and Yoda barked. The other dog barked back, growling loudly, so we went back in, both Jess and I having flashbacks to Tucker. I swear, the scars prickled when he growled, and I was 100% sure that someone was going to get hurt. Instead, we ran inside, and settled down for a while before game.

I'm thinking about doing another day trip up to the Mt Hope Wine Shop. We had picked up a bit of wine and booze while we were up there for the Renn Faire. We still have wine, but we've nearly killed off the Rum Cream. And let me just say, that is a sad thing. It's basically a sweet creamy base that would make an awesome coffee creamer married with coconut rum. It is SO fucking good. I'll pour myself a large shotglass and sip on it during game. It's only about 18% alcohol, so not too strong, but perfect for sipping. They also have a mocha rum cream that I'm looking forward to trying.

We do have a trip planned for the Yuletide Faire, which is basically the renn faire with carolers and holiday themed plays and music. But that isn't until mid-December, so I'm debating on a trip before then Right now, they don't have their Eggnog, but I'm hoping they will by the time the Yultide faire rolls around.

Today, I work, Jess and my sister take Yoda for grooming, and then we have game after work, then game tonight.

Tomorrow, I believe Jess has game at 7, but nothing else.

Okay, time for me to get myself together and be ready for work. Everyone have the very best Saturday!
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
[personal profile] meridian_rose
12 icons of Jay Hernandez as characters in uniform.
1-5 Magnum PI
6-9 Max (2015)
10 Takers (2010), 11 Lakeview Terrace (2008), 12 Bright (2017)

Teasers:
Read more... )
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
[personal profile] meridian_rose
A fun video digging into the etymology of words we use for time like hour, why it's called a clock, and lost words like overmorrow.

Great Plans (And How They Crumble)

Nov. 15th, 2025 11:07 am
rodo: chuck on a roof in winter (Default)
[personal profile] rodo
I had such great plans for Yuletide. I’m so inspired, I can’t even decide which story I want to write for my recipient and which for myself. Canon review was awesome, I started writing to get into the groove and really felt like that first scene came together on Monday like nothing I’ve written in months did. I was so looking forward to the scene I’d planned to write next, on Tuesday. I love it when writing feels like that. I wanted to write all the novellas and treats…

Then Tuesday hit. Instead of the regular two and a half hours of commute, it was five. And until the last couple of hundred meters, I wasn’t sure if I’d make it. Like, when the train finally started, the train driver told us he didn’t know if we’d make it to the end. It was a broken interlocking system. You know, the brand new one that went online last month… In the end, I crashed so badly, physically and mentally, I would have had to call in sick if it hadn’t been for my boss mercifully granting me home office for the rest of the week after I told him my usual train wouldn’t run for the rest of the week and I’d have to take an earlier one. It took me all three working days and two pain pills to regain a semblance of functionality.

Oh, and then I found out that my usual train won’t run for another month, because absolutely nobody understands the train company’s emergency schedules, myself included. So, yeah, I think that was it as far as my grand Yuletide plans are concerned. Especially since I’ve already been through more than half the trains not running for a month once, and the ones that do run… well. I expect a few more Tuesdays, and hardly any free time.

In other news: I think I’ve finally got my first slightly wanky programming opinion. Usually I’m the person who says do whatever works for you, but even I have my breaking point. If you’re going to type anything slightly challenging any, why are you even using TypeScript? JavaScript is right there and there’s nothing wrong with it! (Guess who’s had to delint somebody else’s codebase this week...)

Just One Thing (15 November 2025)

Nov. 15th, 2025 10:03 am
nanila: me (Default)
[personal profile] nanila posting in [community profile] awesomeers
It's challenge time!

Comment with Just One Thing you've accomplished in the last 24 hours or so. It doesn't have to be a hard thing, or even a thing that you think is particularly awesome. Just a thing that you did.

Feel free to share more than one thing if you're feeling particularly accomplished! Extra credit: find someone in the comments and give them props for what they achieved!

Nothing is too big, too small, too strange or too cryptic. And in case you'd rather do this in private, anonymous comments are screened. I will only unscreen if you ask me to.

Go!

Music Saturday

Nov. 15th, 2025 12:01 am
muccamukk: Orville Peck in a red Nudie suit, singing and playing guitar, while a pink and white musical score swirl behind him. (Music: Orville Peck)
[personal profile] muccamukk


Have had this EP on repeat all day.
but_can_i_be_trusted: (Default)
[personal profile] but_can_i_be_trusted posting in [community profile] 100words
Title: 'Bathed in Flames'
Fandom: The Legend of Zelda (Spoilers for 'Skyward Sword')
Rating: PG (Warnings for vaguely disturbing concepts)
Notes: Crossposted to [community profile] drabble_zone and [community profile] anythingdrabble

Bathed in Flames )

Catching up

Nov. 15th, 2025 12:09 am
silver_chipmunk: (Default)
[personal profile] silver_chipmunk
Yesterday I got up and breakfasted and had coffee, showered and dressed, and went to meet [personal profile] mashfanficchick at the BJs near me.

I took the 20 bus and got there before ze did, so I picked out two Christmas sweater, or rather, one sweater, one sweatshirt type thing, and some Cheerios, and a sympathy card for D, and was browsing books when ze arrived.

We shopped through BJs, and then went to Shop Rite, where I got some eggnog. Then we went back to zer place by bus, the 20 to the 45. We started out badly cause the bus stop we were waiting at was one that had been eliminated by the damn Queens bus network redesign, so the first bus zipped right past us and we had to walk up to the real stop. But after that all went well, and we got to zer place around 6:00.

At 7:00 I Teamed the FWiB from my phone, and then at 8:00 we watched 911. At 8:30, during the commercials I called Middle Brother, nothing much new with im though he went out the other day,

Then at 9:00 we watched 911: Nashville, which is getting awfully similar to original 911.

After that we had dinner, and I put my jacket in the wash. Dinner was Irish stew and rolls.

The jacket came out sopping wet, apparently the washer became unbalanced and never went through the spin cycle. I wrung it out as best I could and brought it upstairs to dry in the bathroom (not supposed to machine dry)

Then we started talking, about zer ideas for a memorial this summer for zer mother, and my ideas for a memorial this summer for Oldest Brother, and we talked so long I ended up staying the night rather than go back.

This morning, I was dozing on the air mattress when my phone rang and it was the nurse from Middle Brother's group home. She called to tell me the results of the CT scan of his brain, which was pretty normal for his age, some minor cognitive decline but no sign of dementia. So that's good.

We got up pretty late and went to Dunkin' Donuts, where I had a peppermint spice mocha latte. Yummy, And a breakfast wrap.

Then we went to Flushing, by the subway, and did some shopping, getting that candied fruit on sticks that I can never remember the name of, and then some stff in JMart.

Finally we finished up in the foood court of the mall there, which is all Asian stuff, and I got a mango milk slushie. Very nice.

Then we separated, ze too zer father in Great neck, and me home. I got here with 20 minur=tes to spare before I had to head into the Bronx for my Al-anon meeting.

I got in successfully by the 25 and 50, and got pizza for dinner as usual. The meeting was small, but we had a newcomer, but sadly I don't think she'll come back.

Then I came home, M drove me to the bus stop, and I actually made a quick connection from the 50 to the 25 and didn't have to walk.

Got home and Teamed the FWiB. While we were talking though the Kid called, and I got off to talk to her. Much important stuff was discussed, including Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the memorial this summer.

Then I spent far too long looking for the checkbook for the bank where the cottage account is so I can pay the winterizing bill. I finally found it, and set it aside and started here,

So that is the catch up for yesterday and today,

Gratitude List:

1. The FWiB.

2. The Kid.

3. New sweaters.

4. Plans made for Thanksgiving.

5. My meetings and the people there.

6. Bed soon.

Five Days to the Default Deadline

Nov. 14th, 2025 09:57 pm
havocthecat: highlander a medieval illustrated watchers chronicle (hl watchers chronicle)
[personal profile] havocthecat posting in [community profile] hlh_shortcuts
Hello all! Happy writing!

Five days to the default deadline.

No shame if you need it. All good if you don't.

You may double check the schedule (and instructions on how to default) at the sticky post in this community, located here:
https://hlh-shortcuts.dreamwidth.org/38143.html

This is such a weird framing

Nov. 14th, 2025 04:25 pm
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
"Along the journey she discovers that her and her family were never actually slaves at all but the original royal family and the original slaves usurped the throne and took over due to constantly being oppressed and treated unfairly."

I really want to ask this person if they understand how the concepts of "slavery" and "royalty" work. This girl was definitely a slave because she was enslaved, you can be a slave and also be from a royal family since both these concepts are societal concepts, the word "usurp" suggests that this revolution was invalid and bad, and by the way, if she was born as part of the royal family she's probably lucky she wasn't killed, except that then the book would've been very short and grim, with no happy ending. Well, no happy ending for her, all the happy endings for the people who killed her family and secured their freedom.

(Somebody suggested this may be The Claidi Journals, which is what I was thinking.)

********************


Read more... )
kaberett: Photo of a pile of old leather-bound books. (books)
[personal profile] kaberett

... Nor shall I say what objects of vision must be agreeable or disagreeable to it; for from what I have already said about the other senses, it is easy to grasp that light that is too strong will injure the eyes and moderate light must refresh them; and that, amongst the colours, green, which consistss in the most moderate action (which by analogy one can speak of as the ratio 1:2), is like the octave among musical consonances, or like bread among the foods that one eats, that is, it is the most universally agreeable.40

40 What the basis of this remark is is unclear, and although various writers have made suggestions about the relations between colours and sounds, the attempt to quantify green on a par with an octave certainly cannot be sustained. It is worth noting that Descartes will later advice Elizabeth to rid her mind of sad thoughts by reflecting on the greenness of a wood (Descartes to Elizabeth, May/June 1645, AT iv. 220).

(trans. and footnote courtesy of Stephen Gaukroger.)

[ SECRET POST #6888 ]

Nov. 14th, 2025 05:48 pm
case: (Default)
[personal profile] case posting in [community profile] fandomsecrets

⌈ Secret Post #6888 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


01.
[NYTimes Connections & Only Connect]



More! )


Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #983.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
jesse_the_k: Robot dog from old Doctor Who (k9 to the rescue)
[personal profile] jesse_the_k

from someone who's a realist-for-now yet also wants to believe.

Adam Engst on Can Agentic Web Browsers Count?

tl;dr No, given a readily available data set on a webpage, they can't.

The sweetest and scariest part was his sympathy for Copilot's very anxious inner monologue as it tried to come up with answers while working to a deadline that nobody had created.

When it comes to system prompts, the anxious tone of Copilot’s internal responses suggests a “ship now, apologize later, if you’re caught” system prompt that, if reflected in a real-world workplace, would be problematic. Obviously, AIs don’t have feelings that can be hurt and won’t complain to HR, but such a culture tends to encourage people to cut corners and make poor decisions that compromise quality and customer service. If Copilot is any indication, the same is true for AIs.

Um what

Nov. 14th, 2025 01:36 pm
ysobel: (Default)
[personal profile] ysobel posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Dear Miss Manners: What is the polite way to eat large sushi rolls? Sometimes they’re too big to comfortably eat whole without gagging!

Dissect them.

Miss Manners does not usually condone deconstructing food in public, but these are desperate times. Use your chopsticks to pull out the insides and eat them separately. Then either squish the remaining rice and seaweed together and eat it in two bites or use the side of the chopstick to cut it in half.

Perhaps the sight of their beautiful creations being desecrated will inspire the chefs to make more manageable bites. Or at least have them wonder why everyone is suddenly ordering them as takeout instead.

Wounded Christmas Wolf

Nov. 14th, 2025 11:43 am
sholio: tree-shaped cookie (Christmas cookies)
[personal profile] sholio
christmas book cover with a couple, falling snow, small town

It is free book time again! This is a Christmas romance, a full length novel unrelated to my other series (though obviously it has shifter-romance-style werewolves in it). The link will work until the book goes live on Amazon on the 21st.

This book went through heavier rewrites than my books normally do, so please let me know if you notice any typos or inconsistencies and I will try to fix them!

As always, no obligation, but feel free to download and enjoy.

Free download from Bookfunnel:
https://dl.bookfunnel.com/1c4ety8smh
lydamorehouse: (Default)
[personal profile] lydamorehouse
 One really fun thing that I did lately is finally listen to/read The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

This came about because my son has heard me go on and on since I read Frankenstein for the first time earlier this year about how GAY Victor Frankenstein was for his most sincere friend Henry Clevral. Being Mason, he said, "Oh, huh. Have you ever read Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? I recommend it," without, of course, spoiling the fact that it's pretty much common knowledge the Robert Louis Stevenson had based Jekyll and Hyde on his real life gay friends.

If you doubt me, check out the Wikipediea entry's "inspiration and writing" section: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strange_Case_of_Dr_Jekyll_and_Mr_Hyde#Inspiration_and_writing  Stevenson apparently literally named Jykell after a reverand who was very likely gay and several of his known gay associates, specifically John Addington Symonds. Symonds apparently read Jekyll and Hyde and said (and I paraphrase), "I am in this book and I don't like it."

Anyway, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is short and well worth the read.

Having thoroughly enjoyed that experience, I have been pondering if there are other classics that I've ignored over the years due to the trauma of having been an English major. (When one is forced to read a lot of classic leterature, one grows weary of its ponderousness.)  My friend [personal profile] naomikritzer has talked me into trying out Anne of Green Gables. I'm not sure how well this one will stick because it is in no way genre or genre adjacent like Frankenstein and The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  But, we'll see. I found someone on Spotify who did a lovely podcast of Anne of Green Gables with multiple voice actors playing the various roles, so it could generally just be a fun way to experience the book. 

I know it's not Wednesday, but what are you reading? Anything fun? Anything weird? Anything AWFUL?

Celebrating AO3’s 16th Anniversary

Nov. 14th, 2025 05:23 pm
[syndicated profile] otw_news_feed

Posted by Elintiriel

AO3 is turning 16! It’s been another year of growth for AO3. Since this time last year, we passed both eight million and nine million registered users! We also passed 14 million, 15 million, and 16 million fanworks on the site, including one million works in Mandarin Chinese—the first non-English language to reach this milestone!

AO3’s committees have also done a lot of important work this year! Accessibility, Design, & Technology published multiple important code releases, including security improvements like sending you an email when you or someone logged in to your account changes your username, password, or email as well as new features like allowing you to use CSS custom properties in site skins or add tags to your collections!

AO3’s Tag Wranglers published four updates on “No Fandom” tags, which are tags that are not associated with any particular fandom. Many of the new tags they’ve made canonical (marked common) include commonly requested ones like Breeding Kink, Mind Break, and Rivals to Lovers. Check out the full list of new and modified No Fandom tags!

OTW Open Doors announced the import of five fanwork and two zine archives to AO3, including fanworks related to fandoms such as Harry Potter, Inuyasha, and Star Trek: The Original Series. You can look through all old import announcements by browsing AO3 news for the Open Doors tag.

Policy & Abuse published a series of important Terms of Service (TOS) Spotlight news posts that answered common questions about violations of AO3’s TOS. Check them out here:

We’re so excited about all the wonderful things that have happened this year and we can’t wait to see what future years bring!

Prompt!

To celebrate AO3’s 16th birthday, we want to prompt you to post a fanwork featuring 16 in some way! This could be a work about Season/Series 16 of a show, or a character with 16 in their name like Android 16 (Dragon Ball), or even a character celebrating their 16th Birthday. We encourage you to get creative! When you post your works on AO3 or social media, tag them #AO3Celebrates16!

Comment!

If you don’t feel like creating a work, that’s okay! Instead, celebrate this anniversary with us by commenting on 16 fanworks and recommending your favorite in the comments!

Thank you for celebrating 16 years of AO3 with us!

dialecticdreamer: My work (Default)
[personal profile] dialecticdreamer
House Call Gone Wrong
By Dialecticdreamer/Sarah Williams
Part 2 of 3, complete
Word count (story only): 1508
[last days of November/first days of December of 2016]


:: During Elisabeth Finn’s maternity leave, she makes time for a follow-up appointment with her six-week-old patient. When the mother doesn’t show, Doctor Finn sets out to make a house call. The trip is disrupted, but may have VERY positive results for her new acquaintances. Written for the November of 2025 Magpie Monday, from a prompt by [personal profile] siliconshaman, and posted for everyone to enjoy, with my deepest thanks. ::


Back to part one
On to part three




“He cut through a lot of middle steps. I’m not worried that he’s gossiping.” Elisabeth laughed brightly. “I’ve raised children before. Wren is my youngest.” She unlocked the door and watched the older man step back to allow her plenty of room to avoid the grabby fingers of the evergreen trees that tried to catch her wool coat.

The teen clambered out of the rear door on the passenger side. Skinny and coltish as any early teen, his face was flushed red with forming acne in several places, and the small, round sticky bandages coated in medication to reduce them looked more like a caricature than a medical treatment.
Read more... )

Thinking women

Nov. 14th, 2025 02:51 pm
oursin: Julia Margaret Cameron photograph of Hypatia (Hypatia)
[personal profile] oursin

I don't think we actually have to claim she invented science fiction, because to the best of my recollection and without going and looking it up, various people in the C17th were doing similar things. Also, honestly, why can we not claim women among the Great Eccentrics of History? What we like about Margaret Cavendish is that she appears to have heartily embraced this identity rather than having it plonked upon her by a judgemental world: The Duchess Who Invented Science Fiction.

Though I am slightly muttering under my breath about the women of the time who were also Doing Science and Being Intellectual in a rather less flamboyant fashion e.g. Lady Ranelagh, and indeed women in the Evelyn circle....

***

Quiet persistence and a lucky combination of first husband dying after a few years of marriage and sympathetic second husband (see also Mrs Delany): Mary Somerville – the first scientist - she taught Ada Lovelace, plus she lived to be 92. (You know, I am sorry for those women in science who died tragically young, but we hear a lot less about the ones like Dorothy Hodgkin who had a long and spectacularly effective career in crystallography while suffering from rheumatoid arthritis and actually GOT THE NOBEL. I also mark her up for persistence in humanitarian concerns.)

***

Okay, Amy Levy did die, by her own hand, distressingly young: but her personal archive, up till now in private hands, has now been acquired by the University of Cambridge Library: The archive of enigmatic 19th-century writer Amy Levy has a new home at Cambridge University Library

What Could Go Wrong?

Nov. 14th, 2025 02:00 pm
[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

I've often thought the "sex-reveal cake" trend was fraught with peril, and today's wreck is a good example of why. 

In case you haven't heard of it, the reveal cake has either pink or blue icing hidden inside, depending on the baby's sex - but the kicker is, the parents bring that info sealed from their doctor to the bakery, so the cake is how they find out if they're having a boy or a girl. 

So...you're trusting a baker to correctly communicate your baby's sex? 

Gee, WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

 [whistling innocently]

Happily Kevin S. and his wife already knew they were having a boy, but for fun they decided to send a reveal cake to his parents to break the news. As is typical, they asked for it to be white on the outside and decorated with pink and blue polka dots, plus maybe a few question marks. Then they asked for blue icing inside the cake.

When the special order arrived at Kevin's parents' house, this is what they found:

o.0

And to think: someone looked at this and thought, "Yeah, that's what the customer wanted."

(John says you should read that cake out loud. So, go on. DO EET!)

 

Still, as baby cake trends go, it could always - ALWAYS - be worse:

...and frequently is. *sigh*

 

Thanks to Kevin and Stephanie F. for that revealing slice of humor.

*****

This book has over 2,000 5-star reviews and looks absolutely hysterical, definitely bookmark it for the new parents in your life:

How to Traumatize Your Children: 7 Proven Methods to Help You Screw Up Your Kids Deliberately and with Skill

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

linaewen: Girl Writing (Girl Writing)
[personal profile] linaewen posting in [community profile] writethisfanfic
Hello on Friday!  Looking back at the day today -- or yesterday, if today hasn't gotten going yet -- how did it go?

   - I thought about my fic once or twice
   - I wrote
   - I did some planning and/or research
   - I edited
   - I've sent my fic off to my beta
   - I posted today!
   - I'm taking a break
   - I did something else that I'll talk about in a comment

Looking forward, how are you planning to spend your weekend?

   - I'm going to make up for not writing all week by having a writing marathon
   - I'm going to keep writing at my current rate and see how it goes
   - I have other plans, but I might have time to get some writing in
   - I'm going to take a break from writing

Harriette continues to be the worst

Nov. 14th, 2025 09:28 am
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend and I were watching a popular TV series together. The show is based on high schoolers who struggle with substance use disorder, mental health, anger management, sexual exploitation and more. We both were making comments regarding our shock throughout the episodes, but at some point, my friend looked over to me and said he feels sorry for my future children. I was wounded. That is such a strong statement.

I tried to unpack with him what he had said, but I didn't get far. He shared that he thought my expectations were too aggressive and that no kid will be able to thrive around me. I think of parenting as a balance between structure and vulnerability, and I've always hoped I will be an honest and understanding mom. Neither of us has children, by the way.

I want my friend to know his harsh critiques impacted me and that he should be more mindful with his opinions in the future. Is it even worth revisiting this conversation? -- Bad Mom


Read more... )

(no subject)

Nov. 14th, 2025 01:38 pm
renfys: (Default)
[personal profile] renfys


finally begin

A Pepper/Natasha mix

  1. Hardest Of Heart :- Florence + The Machine
  2.  Keep The Car Running :- Arcade Fire    
  3. Let Me Down Gently :- La Roux    
  4. Between Sheets :- Imogen Heap    
  5. Underneath It All :- No Doubt    
  6. The [Shipped] Gold Standard :- Fall Out Boy    
  7. Munich :- Editors (or Corrine Bailey Rae cover)    
  8. Only If For A Night :- Florence + The Machine    
  9. Oil And Water :- Incubus    
  10. Apply Some Pressure :- Maximo Park    
  11. Finally Begin :- Cold War Kids
  12. Wait a Minute :- Sub-Radio

Listen on Spotify / Apple Music      



Thanksgiving

Nov. 14th, 2025 05:02 am
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
1. Dear Eric: For the last 45 years or so I’ve hosted Thanksgiving for my family. I’ve had as many as 25 people. My sister has two sons, and they’ve always stayed with me. Quite frankly, it’s now an issue. Only one son comes but he now has three sons of his own, ranging from 22 to 8. My sister also stays with me. They come on Wednesday and stay till Friday. It’s a lot considering all I have to do for the holiday.

I know if I say something about a hotel, they will be highly insulted.

My daughter also comes and stays, but that’s different. She’s one person and my daughter. Advice?

– Overwhelmed


Read more... )

****


2. Dear Prudence,

My brother has good relationships with everybody but refuses to be part of Thanksgiving, Christmas, or large group events because he says that while he loves us individually, we’re a nightmare collectively. I get it and, frankly, I would love to do the same—my parents and wider family are lovely but bicker and squabble when they get together, particularly over politics, which gets ever uglier. But I also know that my family finds his attitude deeply hurtful. I’m stuck between wanting to opt out myself or trying to persuade him to change his mind because I can see how sad it makes my mother. My instinct is to stay out of it; we’re all adults. But I also feel a bit jealous and miffed. Is there a way forward?

—Stuck in the Middle


Read more... )

****


3. Dear A.J.,

My husband’s brother, “George,” is a recovering alcoholic. He’s been sober for eight months. The thing is, Thanksgiving is coming up, and we’ve always served wine with dinner.

My husband thinks it would be completely inappropriate for us to do so this year because George is coming over, and he doesn’t want him to be “tempted.” I understand that George is going to be battling his alcoholism for the rest of his life, but at the same time, he can’t expect the world around him to be dry everywhere he goes and needs to be able to navigate settings where alcohol is served. This is turning into a sticking point between my husband and me. Is my husband right? Am I being thoughtless?

—Warring Over Wine


Read more... )

Terrible families!

Nov. 14th, 2025 05:01 am
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
1. Dear Eric: I am in my late 30s. I live halfway across the country from my parents, and don't have the best relationship with them. I also have a brother four years younger than me who I have been estranged from for 20 years.

My brother doesn't live with my parents, but he lives in the same city my parents do. If I visit, my parents will tell him and have him come over. I have no intentions of reconciling with him, as he did some horrible things to me 20 years ago which I can never forgive him for.

With my parents, things don't get through unless I take drastic measures. How do I go about conveying my desires not to see him? My plan would be to tell them they have to tell him he can't come to their house while I'm there, and if they don't respect my wishes, I simply won't see them. And that my parents can't just say they want to see me and not respect my conditions for the visit. I wanted your perspective on how I can "lay down the law" and enforce it.

– Unwelcome Home


Read more... )

*****


2. Dear Annie: I'm 28 and recently moved back in with my parents to save money after a tough breakup. I'm grateful for the support, but I'm having trouble with my mom's behavior. She constantly comments on my weight, how I dress, or how much I'm on my phone. Last week, she said I'd have "better luck" if I wore makeup and "put myself out there more."

I've tried brushing it off, but it's starting to wear me down. I've asked her, gently, to stop making comments about my appearance, but she just laughs and says she's "trying to help." My dad usually stays quiet or tells me not to be so sensitive.

I really want to move out, but I can't afford to just yet. Do I have to suffer through the next few months or is there a way to get through to her? -- Tired Daughter in Transition


Read more... )

***********


3. Dear Annie: My wife and I visit our daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter two or three times a year for about three days each visit. It's a five- to six-hour drive for us. Both my wife and I have severe asthma primarily from cat allergies, and we struggle with wheezing and irritated eyes every time we visit. My SIL has cat allergies, too.

Recently, their cat died (finally), and I urged my daughter to consider not getting another one. I explained our situation clearly, stating that if she did so, we'd have to stay at a hotel or B&B during future visits. She just got two more cats.

What would you think? -- Allergic and Angry


Read more... )

************


4. Dear Annie: My husband, "Keith," and I have been married for 12 years. We've always been a team when it comes to parenting our two kids, ages 9 and 6, but lately I've noticed a shift. Keith has become increasingly harsh with them, especially our oldest, "Ben." He'll snap over small things -- like a jacket left on the floor or a missed chore -- and his tone has turned cold and critical.

I've brought it up several times, but Keith insists he's "just trying to teach them responsibility." I understand that, but I worry he's doing more harm than good. Ben has started shutting down emotionally, and our younger one is now walking on eggshells.

When I try to step in and soften things, Keith accuses me of "undermining" him. I'm stuck between protecting my kids and maintaining a united front as parents. I've suggested counseling, but he refuses, saying we don't need it.

How do I support my children without turning this into a bigger conflict between me and my husband? And how do I get Keith to see that his approach may be damaging? -- Worried Wife and Mom


Read more... )

**************


5. Dear Care and Feeding,

I was once an academic competition prodigy. I was one word away from making the National Spelling Bee. My family would always attend these events, including my sister. However, when my sister started her own events, like the middle school choir, my disdain for attending was quite obvious through my groans and moans. I was a high schooler myself and quite self-centered. At her graduation, I volunteered not to go and opted instead to meet them at the restaurant where we would be celebrating.

I was 100 percent wrong for doing this. Now I am two years out of college, and my sister is almost done with her undergraduate degree. Since then, we haven’t really talked, though things are mostly cordial between us. I can count the conversations I’ve had with her since I turned 18 on one hand. My sister frequently states that when she makes it out, she probably will be a stranger to the family, and she doesn’t respond a lot to my parents or other family when they contact her. I admit that we don’t have many common interests, and I don’t know much about her, but it feels wrong not to be close to your own sister. Is there anything I can do, or is this relationship beyond repair?

—Is There a Chance?


Read more... )

*****


6. Dear Care and Feeding,

In the ‘70s and ‘80s, my learning disabilities were undiagnosed, and I was the “stupid” one in the family. As an adult, I know myself to be very intelligent, but my siblings never realized this, and they have passed on their attitudes to their school-age children.

The kids do not believe me when I speak to them about current events or anything fact-based. When they ask an adult at large to spell something, and I reply, they check my response with another adult. I told one of them a medical fact, and they told me flatly that their parent was much, much smarter, and their parent said otherwise, so I must be wrong. (The fact that I do not work due to a medical issue probably contributes to their perception of me as extremely unintelligent.)

My siblings think this is hilarious. I am hurt. I want to have a relationship with the kids while I still can. I have tried explaining learning disabilities and multiple intelligences to the kids, but I think they just see it as me lecturing them. I only see them every few months anyway. Is this battle even worth fighting? If so, how?

—The Uncle


Read more... )

*****


7. DEAR HARRIETTE: How do I get someone who believes in tough love to understand that that does not resonate with me? For a long time, my siblings and I have had strained relationships with our mom because of how crass she can be. She has strong and often negative opinions, and she is not shy about sharing them. I was recently admitted to a two-year college. I am in my late 20s and didn't prioritize college when I was 18 like my parents wanted.

Apparently, there's still some resentment there, because when I announced which school I'd be going to, my mom snickered and asked me if I was proud of that school. When she realized that she had offended me, she said that she was trying to encourage me. I can't keep letting her impose her negativity on me. Mocking me is NOT encouragement. I don't know how to get her to see that, though. -- Never Good Enough


Read more... )

****


8. DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got into a heated argument with my dad, and it's been bothering me ever since. The fight started when I told him I wanted to move to a different city for a job opportunity. He criticized my decision, saying I was being reckless and that I should stay closer to home where things are "safe" and familiar. I tried to explain why this move was important for my career and independence, but he kept bringing up past choices he didn't agree with, like leaving my old job and choosing a career path he hadn't expected. Before I knew it, I was yelling back, telling him that I need to make my own decisions and that his constant criticism feels controlling.

We haven't spoken in a few days, and I feel a mix of frustration, guilt and sadness. I love my dad and value his opinion, but I feel like he doesn't trust me to make my own choices. I want to reach out and repair our relationship, but I don't want to be the only one apologizing if he doesn't acknowledge his role in the argument. How do I approach him in a way that expresses my feelings honestly while also opening the door for reconciliation? Is it possible to set boundaries and stand firm on my decisions without damaging our relationship further? -- Dad Divide


Read more... )
beanside: (Default)
[personal profile] beanside
It's Friday! Whoohoo! I'm still working tomorrow morning, but that's okay.

Yesterday was busy at work. I had multiple projects, and accomplished all of them. In the process, I may have gotten one of my coworkers in trouble, but she fucked up, so I don't feel bad about that.

When we get patients with STAT orders, and we don't have anything soon--like a cardiac MRI say, we send an email to management, letting them know, and they go on a giant spreadsheet. (Ususally, they'll also forward the email to me, since I'm Queen of the Cardiac appointments) I was looking to fill in an open cardiac MRI, so I was trawling through appts in January (Yes, that's when we're scheduling). I opened a chart for a patient and found a STAT order. The patient had some pretty serious comorbid health issues. I was worried that I had missed something, so I sent a message to the assistant manager asking if the patient was on their radar. He came back and said no email had been sent. So basically, my coworker put a patient who could basically drop dead at any moment in January and didn't even put them on the wait list, much less notify anyone. I have a feeling that that is going to be a coaching at the very least. Fortunately, I have an appointment for Tuesday, so I'm going to track them down and see if they'll take that.

Then, it was off to get my roots touched up at Madison Reed, because I looked like a fucking skunk, and we have brunch on Sunday and I'd like to look at least not bad. That took a little while, and then I headed back home to walk the dog and have a bit of dinner.

Tonight, we have game, so that should be fun. I need to do a bit of prep, which I will take care of after I finish typing this. Tomorrow, work, then game. Sunday, Brunch at Ammoora.

I also need to go pick up a couple of prescriptions, so the timeline might be tight tonight. We'll see.

The tree topper came yesterday,a nd I got it set up. It's a really pretty star of Bethlehem shaped golden cage topper with lights in it.

Our little tree.

Ornaments and a tree skirt are still en route, but once we have them, we'll get it decorated and it won't look so sparse.

And on that note, I'm going to go grab a shower and then do some prep work for game. Everyone have an excellent Friday!

Geez, this dude....

Nov. 14th, 2025 05:19 am
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Dear Eric: Over the course of our 26-year marriage I have caught my wife in numerous lies. We started marriage counseling three months ago and during an early session I asked if we could finally be truthful with each other, no more lies. No such luck.

Years ago, her brother suddenly fled and left all his belongings. She put them in storage but when I found out I told her to remove them or have him pay the monthly fee. Today I discovered she has been paying for her brother’s monthly storage bill for at least 10 years without my knowledge. That comes to $16,500. It may even be higher.

Initially she said she was being reimbursed. I asked for proof. She said she would show me. Then she changed her story to say it's her money and she can spend it however she chooses, so forget the proof. Pretty sure there never was any proof of reimbursement. My wife believes the best defense is to go on the offense, and she does it a lot.

I am married to a liar, a sneak, someone with no conscience. What should I do?

– Deceived Again


Read more... )

(no subject)

Nov. 14th, 2025 03:50 am
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
My 5-year-old daughter, “Wren,” has been a nail-biter for the past six months. Nothing my husband and I tried could break her of the habit. Then miraculously, she stopped. When I mentioned my relief to my mother-in-law, she took credit for it. Then she told me her “solution.”

She told Wren that her hair would fall out if she kept biting her nails! I’m not sure how to feel about this. On the one hand, I’m pissed my mother-in-law would lie to my daughter. On the other hand, it worked. Do I need to tell Wren the truth, or can my husband and I (at least for the time being) keep up the ruse?

—Something to Chew On


WTF )

Unexpectedly

Nov. 14th, 2025 01:38 am
silver_chipmunk: (Default)
[personal profile] silver_chipmunk
Spending the night at MASHfanficchick's place. All well, will update tomorrow.

(no subject)

Nov. 14th, 2025 01:08 am
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Dear Carolyn: I recently completed a major renovation project to my backyard, and my mother expressed disappointment that I haven’t invited her over to see it. I told her I was waiting to do a big unveiling, but the truth — which I confessed to my brother — is that I’m anxious about her opinion because she and I have different tastes.

She is the type of person who will always compliment you verbally, but you can often tell by her expression how she really feels. I described her as rather fake, but my brother said I am being unfair. He pointed out that I could be accused of being equally judgmental by holding against someone not their words and actions, but my own belief about what’s going on inside their head, whether or not it’s true. I had never thought of it that way.

My brother never seems to care about other people’s opinions. I’d like to try his mindset, which seems very freeing, but I don’t know how. It’s especially hard to embrace the idea that I’m supposed to just let it slide when I feel silently critiqued or when someone is only being nice to my face.

Am I oversensitive? Then what’s the right level of sensitivity? Any tips for me?


Read more... )
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
And our protagonist is taking a sojourn with his hot, wealthy boss to Kinky Fantasy Island, and wow, it really *is* a nice place - the hotel room has privacy glass!

The protagonist and the commenters are not as turned on by this as I am, but let me be clear: I'd absolutely fuck a dude if I had a chance to flip the switch on his privacy glass. Hell, I'd listen to him mansplain about privacy glass at me first.

(I'm strongly tempted to say so in a comment, but would that be a weird sort of comment to leave?)

**************************


Read more... )

Just One Thing (14 November 2025)

Nov. 14th, 2025 06:11 am
nanila: me (Default)
[personal profile] nanila posting in [community profile] awesomeers
It's challenge time!

Comment with Just One Thing you've accomplished in the last 24 hours or so. It doesn't have to be a hard thing, or even a thing that you think is particularly awesome. Just a thing that you did.

Feel free to share more than one thing if you're feeling particularly accomplished! Extra credit: find someone in the comments and give them props for what they achieved!

Nothing is too big, too small, too strange or too cryptic. And in case you'd rather do this in private, anonymous comments are screened. I will only unscreen if you ask me to.

Go!

Mostly musical

Nov. 14th, 2025 03:08 pm
nnozomi: (Default)
[personal profile] nnozomi
I'm sorry I've been so lax about DW commenting lately; work and other things have been kind of crazy, as always at this end of the year. Why is it that the busier you are the busier you get, and vice versa?

I was looking for a Chinese idiom equivalent to “pie in the sky” and found 画饼充饥 (feeding hunger on a drawing of a cake) which is not quite the same but kind of related; I also found 天上掉馅饼, meat pies falling from the sky, which sounds related and actually means more like “serendipity” lol (in Japanese 棚から牡丹餅, botamochi cakes falling off the shelf, or tanabota for short. Do other languages have serendipity idioms which involve falling food items, I wonder?).

Jiang Dunhao song(s) of the post: 命名, one of his signature songs—I’m not actually wild about the chorus, too rock-vocal for me, but the verse and the last line raise the hairs on the back of my neck (in a good way). Warning for flashing lights! And for something completely different from the same singer, 又是艳阳天, an adorable duet with the Taiwanese singer Claire Kuo, over on the jazz end of pop. (*Because there are a lot of bilibili.com links here—if you’re not logged in it stops playback a minute in, but if you close the pop-up and hit play again the video goes on. I almost don’t notice at this point.)

Also Jiang Dunhao-related (I’m sorry, I’ve been this obsessed for a while now), I’ve been watching a program for young singers on which he is a mentor. I hate the competition part—why do people always do this with music—but I’ve found it very entertaining otherwise, the young singers are VERY fun. I’m pleased to notice that several of the twenty-odd women contestants are not just not c-ent standard skinny but well over on the plump side, including Niu Mengyao, who has a fantastic contralto, and the Chinese-Malaysian Vanessa Reynauld (莎莎 to her Chinese colleagues), who is all-round adorable with her slangy English-Chinese, as well as Zhang Jiayu with a pretty floaty soprano. Long Yuxun also has an amazing deep voice: a talented and sort of nerdily self-absorbed young man called Jing Shenghui fell in love with her voice at first hearing, grabbed her to form a group with (they all have to make groups of three or four people), and has basically been glued to her side ever since, while she treats him with a kind of amused, impatient fondness and everyone else ships them. (A lot of what makes this program interesting is seeing which singers end up working together. I was tickled, and confused as usual by censorship rules, that not only were two women telling each other “I’m in love with you and your voice!” but everyone else was commenting 嗑到了, I ship it.) Other interesting contestants include Yin Yuke, who seems to want to be the next Zhou Shen only much more deliberately androgynous, and the delightful twins Xie Yuxuan and Xie Yu’ang, who compete and perform as a single entity (I just realized that their names must come from the chengyu 气宇轩昂); then there’s Chen Yang, a rock singer listed as from the mainland on Baidu and from Taiwan on Wikipedia (I know which one I believe), who clearly has a strong personality to match her strong voice and, well, I don’t have the strongest gaydar but this lady’s style… (Some very short links: Niu Mengyao and Vanessa Reynauld, Zhang Jiayu and Yin Yuke, Long Yuxun and Jing Shenghui, Xie Yuxuan and Xie Yu’ang, Chen Yang)

Orchestra stuff. I survived the previous concert—there were some places where I wish I’d done better, but at least one prominent little twiddle which I got right for the very first time during the concert itself, giving me a Mizutani feeling a character from the baseball manga Ookiku Furikabutte who says to himself at one point during a game, wow, I’ve practiced this really hard and I can actually do it! wow!. The new program is movie music, mostly dead boring, but the Totoro suite is actually quite fun here and there (although I think I’ll be tired of it in six months). And I’ve always loved the Star Wars suite, it’s a symphony and a good one, with the accompanying images it calls up from the movies (although sadly it doesn’t contain the Mos Eisley cantina jazz piece). At our first rehearsal I was joined by a high school senior, son of one of the bass players, who was of course a much better player than me (Japanese high school bands are brutal), very solemn and big-eyed and polite; we’ll see if he stays around, knock wood.

Bits of assorted reading: Antony and Cleopatra with yaaurens and company, where I by no means did justice to Enobarbus but enjoyed him anyway (and decided to adopt Charmian’s “keep yourself within yourself” line when in danger of losing my temper). Some Margery Allingham mysteries, which are very weird; I did enjoy her sub-Wimsey detective’s interpretation of “seems like Sweet Fanny Adams to me” into “I am not very sanguine about this.”

With encouragement from everyone around here and qian in particular, I have been sending off the agent query letters for my original thing at the rate of one a day since around the beginning of the month; so far three polite rejections, not that I’m expecting anything else. Reminding myself that some of the best authors I know (personally and otherwise) are self-published. One good thing unrelated to results is that I was reminded of the one effective way I know to get an intimidating task done: break it down into the tiniest components possible and tell myself I’m just going to do one of them and I don’t have to worry about the rest yet. One little tiny subtask at a time is usually surprisingly manageable.

Composers riffing on B.A.C.H.: Bach himself (or maybe not, authorship is disputed, but it’s certainly good enough to be Bach), and Schumann. I love both of these pieces, so helpful of Herr Bach to have a name with half-tones in it.

Photos: Mostly from another historical-building tour with Y, at the Chourakukan in Kyoto, plus some autumn sweets and some nice skies.





Be safe and well.
dialecticdreamer: My work (Default)
[personal profile] dialecticdreamer
House Call Gone Wrong
By Dialecticdreamer/Sarah Williams
Part 1 of 3, complete
Word count (story only): 1526
[last days of November/first days of December of 2016]


:: During Elisabeth Finn’s maternity leave, she makes time for a follow-up appointment with her six-week-old patient. When the mother doesn’t show, Doctor Finn sets out to make a house call. The trip is disrupted, but may have VERY positive results for her new acquaintances. Written for the November of 2025 Magpie Monday, from a prompt by [personal profile] siliconshaman, and posted for everyone to enjoy, with my deepest thanks. ::

On to part two




Elisabeth had been driving north for so long that she was beginning to suspect that reindeer were tracking her through the tall evergreens that crowded the winding, two lane road that had been called a highway on the map program, but in person looked like it had been built using angry prisoners’ labor a century before and never touched again.

The posted speed limit sign, passed some forty miles previously, read ‘55 mph’ but it had half a dozen holes in it around the edges, as if someone was deliberately avoiding the black markings on the reflective metal surface. Five miles later, when she tried to phone Eustacia Perez for the twentieth time since getting in the car at nine in the morning, she found that there was no signal.

Stopped on the side of the narrow road, with the tips of bare evergreen branches kissing the side of her SUV, Elisabeth studied the map. Truckee had services, had been among the first of the towns within fifty miles with uninterrupted power and water, but it was another half hour north. She could turn back, heading south to the well-lit gas station doing constant business, and call to check in with Graham.
Read more... )

[ SECRET POST #6887 ]

Nov. 13th, 2025 06:25 pm
case: (Default)
[personal profile] case posting in [community profile] fandomsecrets

⌈ Secret Post #6887 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


01.



More! )


Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 06 secrets from Secret Submission Post #983.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

bad/good

Nov. 13th, 2025 10:03 pm
trobadora: (Sheppard \o/)
[personal profile] trobadora
Bad things:
  • Ten-hour days at work.

  • Brains that are mush and will not word.

  • Too many appointments next week, on top of work.

Good things:
  • Super mild November weather that let me ride a bike today (during my lunch break) without getting chilled. And tomorrow again, it looks like!

  • Delicious home-cooked food from the freezer that only needs heating up with zero effort on my part. (Thanks, past me!)

  • [community profile] ficinabox has a two-week extension! Now I can expand that thing I wanted to expand. :D

  • [community profile] fandomtrees is open for sign-ups!

In conclusion, the good things are better than the bad things are bad. Yay? *g*

A certain concurrence here....

Nov. 13th, 2025 07:32 pm
oursin: Photograph of James Miranda Barry, c. 1850 (James Miranda Barry)
[personal profile] oursin

Noted as of interest a day or so ago, ‘I don’t want anyone to suffer like I did’: the intersex campaigners fighting to limit surgery on children - am a bit gloomed to think that this is Still An Issue because I look back and surely this was brought to wider attention, oh, at least twenty or years ago?

Ah. A little delving shows me that the person I remember as doing pioneering research on the subject, published around the late 90s, and also involved in intersex activism, has become A Figure of Controversy and I think we probably do not mention them.

But quite coincidentally this emerged today: who, according to work done by A Very Reputable Scientist sequencing DNA which does appear to be his, had a Disorder of Sexual Development (as intersex conditions are sometimes termed)? Did Hitler really have a ‘micropenis’? The dubious documentary analysing the dictator’s DNA.

Here is a thoughtful and nuanced piece by an actual scientist taking issue with some of the more tabloidy accounts A slightly different take on the news that Hitler’s DNA reveals some genetic anomalies. The most interesting thing to me is that history has a profound capability for irony.

That Hitler himself had a condition that was discovered and named by a Jewish man who also held some responsibility for the scientifically misguided murderous policies of the Nazis is at least a reflection that history is often imbued with a sense of complex and confusing irony.

elisem: (Default)
[personal profile] elisem
 The status around here is STILL RESTING LIKE A POTATO, though yesterday I did give in to "this needs to be done, it is a safety issue, and I'm the only one who's likely to do it." Thus the two small stumps at the edge of the yard are now decorated with strips of rag tied around them in a way that, one hopes, will convey the notion that there is something here which should neither be mowed over nor tripped over. Also I stuck a few sunflower stalks in a brush bag. And then I came in to potato some more.

Saori WX60

Nov. 13th, 2025 10:20 am
yhlee: Alto clef and whole note (middle C). (Default)
[personal profile] yhlee
They're not kidding when they say this loom folds up easily (a few seconds) and can be wheeled WITH A PARTIALLY WOVEN WIP STILL ON THE LOOM, ditto unfolding and your project's ready again. (The wheels are extra, but worth it to me.)

Note that this loom is lightweight, my preference (~30 lbs) but that means it will "travel" if you treadle hard. Likewise, by default it's only two harnesses. I unironically love plainweave so this is fine for my use case but if you have more complex weaving in mind, maybe not so much. (You can buy a spendy attachment to convert it to four harnesses, but...)

folded loom Read more... )

I haven't yet tested it, but the design of the "ready-made warp" tabletop system is fiendishly clever. Frankly, warping is potentially so annoying that it was worth the cost. I am considering a Frankenstein's monster modification that MIGHT make warping easier as well but I haven't yet tested it.

tabletop warping system

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